fantasy vs reality

excluding today, one more week to trials and i'm still blogging. i should be studying. but this is the only place i can actually write watever i want when i have no one to talk to. this year pass quickly for me. i don't know why. even when i'm having UPSR, time does not pass so quickly. maybe because i join many ativities and i can say that my schedule is kind of full. when i look at the calendar yesterday before i go for bed, i just realise that its august already. one more month to PMR. and what i've been doing for these past months? none. i can said that. NONE!!!

i found that no matter how hard i tried to forget it, that memory will still stick in my mind. i've thrown everything that reminds me of that memory but it still stick in my mind. maybe i just let time fade that memory away. i can't do anything about it anymore. i don't know what i should do about it either. i love the piece but in order to forget the memory i forced myself to throw it away. i don't know how to say how hurt my heart is at that moment. how i wish someone lend me a shoulder to cry on. my very first piece, composed by myself, destroyed by myself.......

many things are out of place these days. many things don't seem to go the way it should be. i think thats reality. nothing goes the way you want unless you sacrifice something. if you don't, you won't have it. i've always lost in my own fantasy but, somehow, things around me woke me up and tell me to face the reality and stop dreaming. sometimes, i'm afraid to face it. it frightens me. but if i want to move forward, i have to face it don't i?