六月的最后一天。

六月的最后一天。这个月，对我来说，过得很快。我觉得，七月，会过得跟快。

因为，七月，是一个很忙的一月。要学完中三的课。要学得很快。有很多课外活动。

希望，我八月那个考试，可以拷到很好。

不要熬让爸妈伤心。不要让他们失望。

十月的大考。是一个很重要的考试。想起来，有一点怕。

考完之后，我就可以真正的休息一下。。。。

要走了。下次才写吧。。。

爱。。代表什么？

爱。这一个字，可以让很多事情发生。爱代表：

一，对家人的爱。

二，对朋友的爱

三，对自己特别的人的爱。

四，对自己的爱。

五，对你喜欢的东西的爱。

但是，第三个爱。有时候，会让你觉得，你是这个世界最幸福的人。有时候，会让你很伤心。但是，对我来说。这个爱，不管我觉得开心还是伤心，当我很爱很爱一个人的时候，当我跟他说我很爱他的时候，那些都是真的。其实，如果，我真的很爱那个人，我只想他每一天都过得很开心。每一天都带着笑容。

Rush rush rush

Skip foot drill practice today. Went for extra class for science. Pn Zarina want to finish the syllables. So tiring. Went to see Pn Roslina to ask her back for my KST and she said,"Aiyo,how come your hasil kajian so little! Must add more!! add bahan binaan, cara pembinaan, peristiwa bersejarah.......Must add more you know? I replied,"Yes, teacher. Tomorrow when i send to you need to bind?" She said," Bind...Where's Yuen Yee?" I said,"Go home already."Teacher"*sigh*". Then rush to Junior Science Lab. I'm so rush that i forgot where is the Junior Science Lab. *sigh*

Then the lesson already start like half an hour. Find a seat and start catching up. So many things to learn. I have to finish the syllables by the end of July. OMG!!! So many things to learn and do!!!

Earth Song by MJ

This song remembers me about the destruction man-kind do to the environment.

What about sunrise
What about rain
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain
What about killing fields
Is there a time
What about all the things
That you said was yours and mine
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shared before
Did you ever stop to notice
This crying Earth this weeping shores?

Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh

What have we done to the world
Look what we've done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son
What about flowering fields
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
This crying Earth this weeping shores

Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh

I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don't know where we are
Although I know we've drifted far

Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh

Hey, what about yesterday
(What about us)
What about the seas
(What about us)
The heavens are falling down
(What about us)
I can't even breathe
(What about us)
What about everthing
(What about us)
I have given you
(What about us)
What about nature's worth
(Ooo, ooo)
It's our planet's womb
(What about us)
What about animals
(What about it)
We've turned kingdoms to dust
(What about us)
What about elephants
(What about us)
Have we lost their trust
(What about us)
What about crying whales
(What about us)
We're ravaging the seas
(What about us)
What about forest trails
(Ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas
(What about us)
What about the holy land
(What about it)
Torn apart by creed
(What about us)
What about the common man
(What about us)
Can't we set him free
(What about us)
What about children dying
(What about us)
Can't you hear them cry
(What about us)
Where did we go wrong
(Ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why
(What about us)
What about baby boy
(What about it)
What about the days
(What about us)
What about all their joy
(What about us)
What about the men
(What about us)
What about the crying man
(What about us)
What about Abraham
(What was us)
What about death again
(Ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn

Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh
Aaaaaaaaah, Oooooooooh...

I like this song...one of my favourites.

.......

99 more days to PMR. 41 days more to the first trial. So little time yet I don't know what I should do. I know that I should be focusing on my studies now. But i felt something is always distracting me from focusing on my studies. What is happening to me? I can't risk to waste any time anymore. 

And to Wei Hwei, I'm so sorry. These few days, I've been busy with my own things that I keep forgetting to give you the History pholio. I'm very sorry......

Random

The piano lesson is off today. So, I just laze around the house. I feel very exhausted. I don't know why. And when my aunt come to my house, she asked, "Why you always look so moody? Must always smile." Then everyone in the house start asking me the same question. I'm speechless. Its not that I don't want to tell them why I don't smile, its just that even I tell them, they won't understand. Then, my mom called me and talked to me. But, its not the heart to heart talk. She just asked, "Your academic very bad is it? That's why you are so moody, right?" I'm really speechless. I admit that my academic result for this time is not that good but that's not the main reason I'm moody. Can't she asked about something else. I just tell her that I have some problem with 2 of the PMR subjects and I asked her not to ask me about my academics so often. I'm phobia to it. I know the reason why she so concern about my academics but, she doesn't understand that she is giving me more and more pressure. No matter how many times I tell her that I understand what she wants but, she don't seem to understand me. *sigh*

Tomorrow is school. I don't look forward to it. This Friday is the PBSM camp. I hope it will be fun. I really need something to cheer me up from this nightmare.

Tribute to Michael Jackson

I know this is kind of late but Michael Jackson is a very awesome artist. That's the fact and no one deny it. My mom is a fan of his. It's such a waste that he died at the age of 50....I like his moon walk.....I mean the dance....His songs are very nice....I'm sure everyone will remember him forever.....

P/S: May MJ R.I.P

Tagged by See Kee

1. Have u ever been asked out?
Yup.

2. Where was your default picture been taken?
Home....

3. What is your middle name?
Xi

4. Your current relationship status?
Single?

5. Does your crush like you back?
No, I think........

6. What is your current mood?
Between emo and happy....

7. What colour of underwear are you wearing?
=.=

8. What colour shirt are you wearing?
White

9. Missing something?
Ya...

10. If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
I don't want to change anything..........everything happens for a reason

11. If you must be an animal one day, what?
Puppy...my favourite

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Once, almost knocked by a motorcycle.

13. Something you do a lot?
Day dreaming.......

14. The song stuck in your head?
Erm.....not sure

15. Who did you copy and paste from?
My dear sis, See Kee...

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Don't know...my birthday is way too early of the year...

17. When was the last time you cried?
Few hours ago...

18. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
In a big group got la....solo? Don't know...

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Make everyone happy and healthy...

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Atitude?

21. What do you usually order from starbucks?
Mocha ...

22. What's your biggest secret?
Secret...........

23. Whats your favourite colour?
Blue and green...

24. Do you still watch kiddie movies or tv shows?
Sometimes....

25. What's on your walls?
Nothing...

26. What are you?
Human, of course.

27. Do you speak any other language?
Yup.

28. What's your favourite smell?
Don't like any smell...

29. Describe your life in one word.
Cruel,mean but can be fun at times.

30. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope...

31. What are you thinking about right now?
Erm....My love ones...

33. What should you be doing?
Score-A Programme (if you know what's that)

34. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
My friend....

35. How often do u talk to God?
Often...

36. Do you like working in the yard?
Not really...

37. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
I just love my name....

38. Do you act differently around the person you like?
No.....be yourself no matter what.

39. What is your natural hair color?
Dark brown.....

40. Who was the last person to make you cry?
Someone..........

I don't want to tag anyone. You can do this tag is you want...

我不想这样。。。

我在想，如果我没有出现在这个世界，这个世界会比较好吗？

我觉得，很多人讨厌我。。虽然我不懂他们是谁，但是，有可能我认识他们，但是我忘了。。。

虽然有些人，他们没有说出来，但是，我知道，他们很讨厌我。

我感觉得到。。。

我比较喜欢他们说出来。。。。不要冷淡的对我。。。。

让我觉得很讨厌我自己。。。。

Random

Today, after the foot drill practice, I went to Jusco with my aunty. Bought a jacket. I like it. Too bad that I can't find any picture of the jacket. Feeling weird these few days. Feel like getting sick. I hope not. I don't want to get sick.

My biggest flaw

Many things are in my mind. But I don't know how to express it out. This is my biggest problem I think. I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes, I want to tell someone what I'm thinking but I don't know how to express it. I think I only have 2 choices. One, learn how to express myself. Two, find some other way to express (I'm not sure how). No, there's another way, but kind of stupid. Find something that make me forgot about that problem.....

Why?

This is too weird............I should not be like this................*sigh*

I want to be myself again...........Why that thing will make me like this? This is not the first time i encounter it. *sigh*

*sigh* next week is PBSM camp.....i heard that many people are not going. T.T

8/7 is the inter-group marching competition
15/7 is the cooking competition.
28/7 is the AGM aka Annual General Meeting.

June is ending and July is coming. Time flies.....PMR is coming and I'm not fully prepared. I'm worried. My marks is rising and dropping.........Not consistent.

病了。。。。。

今天突然病倒很严重。。。很辛苦噢。。。。。不舒服。。。。。。想睡觉但是又睡不到。。。。

咳。。。。。。

很多人emo。。。。。

我希望他们可以开心的过每一天。。。。。

Random.....

It was raining cats and dogs for almost for the whole day. The rain just kept pouring and somehow it make me kind of moody. The sky was dark and I was craving for the sunshine. 

Everyone is talking about H1N1. I wish and pray that this pandemic will be over as soon as possible. I don't want anyone that I love, that I care get infected by this horrible disease. My friends out there, eat more fruits and drink more water. Take care of yourself........

*blank*

I got to go....Ciao~

Random

In the morning, the sky was dark gray. The sun was nowhere to be seen. But somehow, i feel nice. I enjoy the cool breeze. I was standing outside the class, wishing that the rain wash off the haze. Its affecting me and also my love ones. And now the H1N1 is spreading around the globe rapidly. I pray hard that my love ones always healthy and happy everyday.

It rained heavily then. Having 2 free periods gave me a lot of time to think of the past. I admit that I done many wrong things and somehow accidentally hurt many people. I knew that those things can't be reversed. As I think and think, out of sudden, I  decided that I want to forget all the unhappy things happen in my past and remember the happy ones. But, some of the past can't be forgotten cause those memories were very precious. Without myself noticing, my tears was running down my cheeks. It was lucky that nobody see it.

Nothing particular happen then. Now that I look out my window, the sky is red. It seem that there is going to be another rainfall. I hope it does cause somehow when it rains, sometime it washes of the unhappy memories away even for a little while.

I think thats all for now. Bye.

Blogging from school

blogging from school computer. the keyboard is very uncomfortable. the internet connection is very bad. had 2 free periods and filled it with reading and chatting with my buddies. having foot drill practice later. skipping my badminton meeting. miss playing badminton out of sudden. maybe coz long time never play badminton.

felt school today very weird. maybe coz of my mood. not sad or wat. can be said moodless. i think i should let go of it instead of holding it stubbornly.

*blank*

just hoping everything will go well from now.....

为什么？

为什么。。。每一次都会这样。。。很累。。。。不要这样可以吗？

为什么，不可以？就是因为我哥，我就不可以这样吗？

我不会像我哥，因为我不是他。。。

我会分那一个是对的，那一个是错的。。。。

为什么，不给我一次自己决定？

我已经15岁了。。。。

我会怎样决定事情。。。

部署要你教我。。。。

你跟我说得我都记得。。。

为什么？？？？？！！！

i miss the squad

chat with my dear sis, wei hwei, just now on msn. talk about the time when we were in the pbsm squad kawad. and she call me to read her posts. really, it makes me think of those days again. serene commanding, hoo keen looking stern and shouting the timing, present AJKs and ex-AJKs looking at us, pointing out our mistakes and many more.........i dunno how to say it. i just love those days.wei hwei is right. even we are practicing now for the inter-group competition, the bond and the feel of kawad when we were in the pbsm squad is totally different. i miss the time when we learned the formation. the time we shouted "WE WANT PEACE!" 

NO school!!!!!

no school today...............but i dunno wat to do............maybe i can come up with something later....

*blank*

random

today got injection.....dunno why, after the injection, feel very tired, very weak.....what's worse is, the place where the nurse injected me is swollen now.....T.T my hand is so painful......but cannot do anything to it.....

play treasure hunt during the maths and science club meeting. we got no.1, but i prefer the station game from pbsm. feel that one is more fun then this one. maybe because i dun really know anyone here.

谢谢你。。。

有时候，我很想说声谢谢给我的朋友。。他们是我为一相信的朋友。当我觉得很不开心的时候，我可以跟他们谈天。。他们，

有时会让我开心。。。。

有时会给我一些意见。。。

有时子听我的问题。。。

但是我真的是很感谢他们。如果不是他们的话，我还是每一天都不开心得过每一天。。。

虽然有时候，我会生气他们，但是我不会生气很久。。。那是因为，我觉得，我不属要生气因为一些小小的事情。。。

但是我真得很感谢他们。。

谢谢你。。。

random.....

first day of school of the second semester start off with 5 papers. this examination does not have the examination feel. everyone seem relax including myself. not as stress as the passed examinations. maybe because part of it was done during the semester break.

i dunno what my mood is now. i feel like in between happy and emo. if i say happy? no,i'm not.if i say emo? not also. *sigh* but i'm not feeling miserable. just confuse of my unknown mood.

tomorrow got 2 more papers and the normal teaching and learning will begin until PMR. these 2 week of semester break, i feel time passed slow and fast. slow when i'm doing nothing. fast when i'm rushing to do my daily chores or enjoying myself.

school reopens

school reopens tomorrow. the second semester of my form 3 year. monday and tuesday, i'll be having dianogstik. then the normal teaching and learning starts again. co-curricular activites. tuitions. stressed days. i can see those coming. rushing home from school, then rush to tuition, rushing to finish the homework given, rushing doing the revisions for PMR, etc......but there's one thing i don't have to do for now, that is poractice my pieces! but somehow i miss those moments. practicing each day to improve, to make the song unique. those moments somehow very special to me.now i'm back to sonatina, and those songs for those who just taken the practical examination until the result is out and i might start my next grade pieces if i pass this one.

Happy Birthday Grandma!!

yesterday,  my family had a dinner to celebreate my grandma's birthday. just a normal dinner but with more people. because we went out late, we caught on a traffic jam for around one and a half-hour. the air-conditioner was so cold that i was freezing in the car.when reach there, say hi to my uncle as it is manners. while waiting for the food, this is my conversation with my uncle

Uncle: wow, you look mature.

Me: *blur* is it?

Uncle: you this year form what?

Me: form 3

Uncle:you know what, it has been long time ago since you stay overnight at my house.

Me: i very busy lah. even if i'm free, aunty also not free lah.

Uncle:if you free, tell me i drive you to my house.

Me: haha....

Uncle: you wear this dress oh, you should wear high heels shoes.

Me: I'm wearing high heel shoes now.

Uncle: ya meh? *take a look*nice one! but next time buy higher one. nicer lah.

Me: oh...after pmr, if i got go times square then only i buy la.

Uncle:haha....you know what, if you want any opinion about how to dress up, ask me..

Me: huh? *shocked*

Aunty: if she wants, she won't find you lah. she find seen better. seen is expert.

Uncle: still girl and girl ma. must find some opinion from guys ma.

Aunty and Me: haha.....

then we ate and just have some talk about academics for those who were still studying. i really want to avoid that topic. i really,really,really dun like that topic. phobia of that topic. then went home. the traffic is better as its almost ten o'clock.....

who am i close to. my mom or my dad?

i've been thinking...........between my mom and my dad, i'm more close to who? i dunno why this question pop up....but when i really think of it..........i dunno who am i close to.........my dad, he always at pahang. he only talks to me when my academics results drop or did something wrong. he often angry and scold me coz i did something wrong. sometimes, i ask myself, is it wrong? or maybe its wrong in his perception.....

my mom, even though i'm staying with her, i dun really socialize with her. everytime she just talk about academics. i remember that when i was in primary school, i always tell her when i'm unhappy or anything happen at school or watever is in my mind. but, when i enter the secondary school life, i dun talk to her that much. no talking about my feelings, things happen around me. all i told her is just about my academics.

i share my unhappy thoughts and things with my friend. i seem to tell my friend a lot of thing. sometimes my friend give some opinions, cheer me up. sometimes don't. but i feel glad that i my friends around me.

so, i think i'm more close to my mom at last coz i really rarely talk to my dad.....

=.=

wasted almost half of my friday at 'kamdar'......went there to buy school uniform............quite expensive........very tired..........after that just online.............facebooking............listen to songs....................doing nothing..........

考试真难.....

今天我考piano practical exam for grade 7。我觉得我考到还好啦。。自不过，我觉得那个examiner觉得我考到有点乱。。我今天考试的时候我觉得很紧张。。我的手觉得很奇怪。。很不flexible。。。让到我弹到有点奇怪。。。那我觉得我的:

pieces?:还好拉....那些practice没有浪费掉....

scales and arpeggios?:有点错误...但是还好啦.....

aural?:唱那些notes的时候,pitch有点错了....那些问题我觉得也是有些是答错了....

但是我希望我能pass....这次的examiner很strict.....我看到她写好多好多comment在那个commentary column...写到很满......好怕噢.......

A normal piece turns into a unique piece by the pianist

tomorrow is 11 June..........when i practice just now, i realised that i actually improved a lot compared to the last time i play the piece. last time, the piece just sound like a piece without a soul. A piece with only notes telling nothing.Just a tune that is played according to what is composed.But,just now, it sound nice.The piece sound like a story. I hear the same piece played by other pianists in youtube. Even though it's the same piece but the story told is different. I don't compared mine with them because my story is different with them. Different story have different feel.Different touch. The same piece being played but the piece has turned unique by the pianists who played the piece. Music is really amazing at times. I feel that its a good way of telling people how you feel about things. Telling people your story. Even though it's the same song, it'll sound totally different....It's just amazing........So, a good piece is not just depends on the composer because what really make the piece unique is the pianist who play the piece...the way the pianist express his/her story....

A story told in a different way

today i was impressed by the tune played by one of the pianists.the notes were overlapping each other. the dynamics were so nicely adapted into the piece. when i told my teacher the pianist has such a good skill, she said that the pianist had been practising the same song for dunno how many hours....but i think its worth while.it really tells a story of the person....even though two person playing the same song but it has different story.....a good pianist will always touch his/hers listener's heart with the notes he/she played that tells an unexpected story of their own...

...........

went for extra class for piano from four thirty to six. practice.practice.practice.thats wat i heard from my teacher.after that went for tuition. until eight.now blogging about my day.when im not blogging,i have many things in my mind that i wan to blog out. when im blogging,my mind went blank.weird....many things that have to be done but not done yet....should i do it or not?i think i need time to think...

random...........

yesterday make soya bean............damn tired..........but dunno why my mood improved........haha..........not as emo as a few days before..........on sunday went to piano lesson........hear a lot of ppl playing different songs............. feeling like hearing to different stories told by the pianists...............i dunno why la...........my mood did improve after hearing to those songs...seem to relax myself..............its been a long time since i felt so relaxed..........i hope this continues so that i can be myself again..............

11 June............an important day for me.............the day i'll be taking my piano practical examination..........hope everything will go well on that day.......... 

很痛。。。

我的心一次又一次这样给人hurt。。。我觉得很痛。。但是我不能跟人家说。。。我觉得我已经不再信我身边的人。。。因为我一次又一次给他们hurt。。。很痛。。。。但是他们不懂我的痛苦。。我之能够躲在一个地方。。自己一个人哭。。。我觉得我很脆弱。。。弱到没有人要陪我。我真得很没用。。。。

Tagged by Wei Hwei

A= Ao Zhu

B= Bo Fang

C= Cass

D= David

E= Eu Nis

F= Fui Teng

G= Garry

H= Hoo Keen

I= Ivan

J= Jessica

K= Keet Mann

L= Low

M= Michelle

N= Nancy

O= Ooi (tuition teacher)

P= Panda

Q= dunno

R= Regina

S= See Kee!!!

T= Timothy(dunno how to spell)

U= Ushana (hehe)

V= Victoria!!!

W= Wei Hwei (see?see?)

X= Xian Jin

Y= Yeo Wern Xin ^_^

Z= Zi Yao

1.Can A and Z be together?

(i dun think so)

2.Will K and Y argue?

(NO)

3.Can X and J be enemies?

(they dun even know each other)

4.What will you do if S say 'I love You' to you?

(I love you too,sis)

5.What if L snatch your boy friend?

(Cool!! Go ahead)

6. What if K called you a bitch?

(erm..........juz ignore that)

7.What if N ask you out?

(if my mom let)

8.Can you and G argue?

(no la Garry very nice one ho?)

9. Will you be angry with D if he step on your shoes?

(No,u know why?coz he's my dad)

10.What will you do when you get in a fight between Z and I?

(how whould they fight?)

11.What is the best thing that you like about H?

(of course sweet,loving,caring daddy la)

12.What do you hate about O?

(he blabber too much sometime)

13.What do you think of W?

(i juz love her,right sis?)

14.What colour does Q like?

(unknown)

15.What is U like?

(dun really know......)

16.How do you find M?

(funny)

17.What will you do if J and S fight?

(haha.......they won't fight coz J is S's piano teacher aka my piano teacher^_^)

18.Does A-Z know each other?

(no)

19.Do you know what is V's huge secret?

(if its a secret,why would she tell me?)

20.Who does K likes?

(dunno)

can i don't tag anyone? tired la wei.........

失败的人。。。

我觉得我的心有个hole感觉很辛苦。。我不懂我可以做些什么。。。

我之知道：

我的心很痛。。

我很辛苦。。。

很难呼吸。。。

觉得自己害了自己。。。

我现在可以做些什么？我今年有PMR我还是这样。。。我还有五天要考piano practical examination了。。。