school reopens

tomorrow school reopens...i don't have the feel of going to school tomorrow...i want to have a few more days to relax my mind...many things happen during this week of second semester break... soon september arrives and i have around 36 days to PMR...something that i don't want to face yet i think...i wish i have more time to think. to decide what should i do. to make plans for the 36 days before this examination...maybe i'm afraid of this examination just like UPSR and my piano examinations...for piano examinations, i can take it again if i failed but for PMR, its only one shot... and if i failed that shot, i can't to redo that shot again...its like once in a lifetime...this is what i'm scare of...maybe its because the pressure from my mom...i know she always have high hopes on me...maybe that's the thing that make me so stress out...maybe that's the thing that i'm afraid of...i'm afraid of letting her down...

on the other hand of course, i wish time will go faster....so that i can go through the examination faster and release myself from this stressful atmosphere even for a while...so that i can do whatever i want (but there's limit of course)

讨厌！！！

我在不开心些什么？我在讨厌我自己什么？

我不明白。。。我怎么了？

为什么突然有这样的感觉？

我是不是一个很自私的人呢？

当我问我的朋友时候，他说，没有啊。。。

哪。。。为什么我有这样的感觉呢？

我很不明白。。。。很烦。。。。

我很讨厌我自己。。。。

Lonely

i felt so lonely out of the sudden...i don't know why...maybe because too bored because i have done with my holiday homework and i have nothing to do...i spend my time thinking of the melody for a song i'm composing but nothing came...my head hurts...

help me please

its almost 4 o'clock in the morning...and i'm still here...not sleeping...i should go to sleep long time ago...but i just can't...my mind is so full, but i don't what i'm thinking of...i really want to sleep but i just can't close my eyes...my mind won't want to rest...someone please help me...

Hectic Life

its already 3 o'clock in the morning....and i'm still awake......what happen to me? i have seminar at 10 o'clock which is 7 hours away.....but i can't sleep....i just don't know why......*sigh* the seminar is until 4.30 and i have tuition at 6.30......what a hectic life during the holiday......and i'm not finish with the homework given by my teachers......i only touch the pile of papers once in awhile.......i don't know why i don't want this holiday to end.....as if i can feel that when the school reopens, life will become even more hectic than it is now......i hope not.....i have enough of stress from my mom and my teachers......i know its all for my own good but sometimes too much pressure will give negative effects.....that happens to me often.....


i hope you'll be okay after this.....please forgive me.....